Honda: "The most advanced Honda Civic yet."
a) why would they make one LESS advanced than the previous one?
b) if they did, would they tell us?
Fisher-Price: (sung out of tune) "You are exactly one of a kind…"
a) redundant
b) is that as opposed to people who are just kinda one of a kind? Do they know something about clones we don't?
"We were made for each other for always."
a) creepy…the kid is going to live with their mother forever? (Oedipus might approve, kinda. Well, not really.) Good luck in the teen years….
2 Broke Girls Ad.: "If I get into this dumpster I will literally be white trash."
a) actually, white trash is a metaphor, so no
Westjet: "owner" makes up a bouquet for a distraught bride
"I borrowed them"
a) are you giving them back? No. You STOLE them. Nothing like starting your married life clutching stolen property
Hertzig Eyeball Lazering: Cherry Tabb, co-president
(to paraphrase) "So there's this mother at the beach and she gets sand in her contact lenses and can't see her children!
a) okay, what's up with your name?
b) blatant scaremongering…really, Cherry
c) motherhood issue appeal…pretty cheap, Cherry
d) one would assume the kids can handle the water (for a minute or three) or they aren't allowed in the water, if you are parenting correctly and there are no sharks
e) I don't have kids and I don't have contacts, but if I get sand in my eyes I can't see either. Duh.
Fallsview Casino: (couple breaking up song) "You were two but now you're one."
a) I believe in couples/marriage the common metaphor is that the two become one, so it should really go "You were one and now you're two." (That's why the cake is in two pieces.)
1 comment:
wow! you watch a lot of tv.. :-)
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